


your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

by kh_94



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:37:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6839323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kh_94/pseuds/kh_94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke looks away for a moment before meeting Lexa’s eyes again, all pretenses gone. “I just wanted to see you.”</p><p>Lexa softens faintly. “I’m here with someone.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>They hold eye contact, neither willing to break it or speak just yet.</p><p>“Clarke,” Lexa warns, although there’s no heat to it and it almost comes out as a whisper.</p><p>Clarke steps closer. “I just wanted to see you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a happy fic. I just want to let you know that before you choose to get into it.

Lexa unlocks the door, stepping inside the apartment. She isn’t surprised that it’s completely dark and silent, assuming Clarke must have gone to bed already since she most likely has an early shift tomorrow. Lexa had contemplated sleeping over at Anya’s but it’s been a long day and coming home to Clarke always made her feel better.

Almost always.

But it was late and Lexa just wanted to fall asleep next to her. There was no need to talk, for which Lexa was grateful.

Though she supposes she shouldn’t feel relief for not having to talk to her girlfriend.

Lexa quietly walks through the apartment towards the bedroom, knowing her way around well enough that she doesn’t need to turn the lights on. She gently opens the bedroom door and finds Clarke asleep in the bed, her back towards the door. She takes off her blazer and puts it aside before leaning to over to place a light kiss on Clarke’s temple.

Clarke waits until she hears the bathroom lock click into place before she opens her eyes, sighing heavily.

*****

Lexa is seated on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, poring over her notes. It’s Saturday but she hasn’t had a full weekend off in months, with the case that’s been occupying all her time finally nearing its end. She’s deep in concentration when she hears the front door slamming, turning her head to see Clarke taking off her bag and almost throwing it on the counter.

“I had to hold a mother while she was crying today,” Clarke begins without preamble. “Her child is slowly dying in front of her and there’s nothing I can do.”

“Clarke, I’m so sorry.”

Clarke scoffs. “How sorry can you be? Your clients are the ones who are causing this.”

Lexa breathes out slowly, calming herself. “Let’s not do this.”

“Let’s not do what, Lexa? Talk about the fact that you’re helping a company kill people for profits?” Clarke hasn’t been letting it go for months, but especially not today. Especially not after she had to tell Amanda that there was nothing left they could do for her 6-year-old daughter.

Lexa turns back towards her notes. “I’m not getting into this with you again. I have a lot of work to do.”

“Like hell we’re not getting into it,” Clarke steps towards her, seething. “I had to watch a woman break down and blame herself for not being able to afford treatment for her dying child! I’m the one to let people know that there’s a way to treat their illness but they probably can’t afford it because some fucked up rich people only care about getting more money in their pockets! I’m there, breaking the news to them, failing at my job of saving lives.”

Lexa stays silent, looking at her notes but the words on the page not registering at all.

Clarke forces the question out through gritted teeth. “How can you not care?”

It’s then that Lexa stands up. “I do care, Clarke. You should know this better than anyone else. Don’t make me out to be a terrible person for doing my job.”

“You didn’t have to take this case on! You didn’t have to help them win!”

Lexa’s voice is rising now. “You know I had to! I had no choice!”

Clarke shakes her head. “You always have a choice.”

“If you had to throw away your career, would you do it?”

“If it meant doing the right thing.”

“That’s easy to say when you’re not the one who had to choose.”

Lexa collects her files and grabs her bag from beside the couch. “I’m going to the office. Don’t wait up,” she says brusquely, brushing past Clarke on her way out.

Clarke sleeps alone that night.

*****

Clarke comes home from a night shift and almost bumps into Lexa as she steps through the door. They simply stare at each other, the silence feeling more stifling as it drags on.

“Morning,” Clarke says eventually, trying to alleviate the heaviness in the air.

“Morning,” Lexa nods, smiling slightly, although it barely reaches her eyes. “I was just heading off. There’s a sandwich for you in the fridge.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Clarke digs her nails into her palm, not being able to bear the distance and forced politeness. “You better get going. Don’t want to be late.”

Lexa breaks eye contact. “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Clarke doesn’t turn around to see Lexa leave.

*****

Lexa notices that Clarke takes on more night shifts.

She doesn’t question it, although she frequently reaches out to the other side of the bed in the night out of habit, until she feels the coldness of the sheets and remembers Clarke isn’t there.

One night, Lexa fears it’s something she’ll have to get used to and she can’t stop the few tears that escape.

*****

“Oh, come on! How did he fumble that? It was a perfect pass!” Raven yells, gesturing at the TV. She elbows Clarke next to her, eyes still on the screen. “I told you that he’s the worst receiver in the league.”

Raven turns when she doesn’t get a response. “What? Are you finally admitting that he’s the- Clarke?”

Clarke is looking up at the ceiling, blinking back her tears. “I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to be just relaxing and watching the game.”

Raven picks up the remote, turning off the TV. “What’s going on?”

Clarke hesitates, her lip quivering. “I’m scared that Lexa and I aren’t going to make it, Raven. I don’t know what to do.”

Raven waves her forward, enveloping her friend in a hug.

She lets Clarke cry into her shoulder for the rest of the night.

*****

 **Clarke (4:53am):** _I miss you._

 **Lexa (12:17am):** _I miss you, too._

*****

Lexa didn’t realize how much of the apartment was filled with Clarke’s things until they’re no longer there.

The lease doesn’t expire for another four months but she finds a new place and moves out, preferring to pay rent for an empty apartment than to live there any longer.

*****

Lexa is awoken by her phone ringing. She blinks the sleep out of her eyes and reaches for it, squinting at the name on the bright screen.

“Clarke? Are you ok?”

“Lexaaaaa! You picked up!”

Lexa can hear the exaggerated happiness and slight slur in her voice, a telltale sign that she was drunk. “Clarke, it’s late.”

Clarke is immediately remorseful. “Were you sleeping? I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I was out with Octavia and I just wanted to call you.”

Lexa sighs. She can practically hear the pout on Clarke’s face and she knows that Clarke probably won’t remember this in the morning. “It’s ok. Where are you? Are you safe?”

“Yes! Lincoln was wonderful and drove me home. Such a gentleman, that one.”

“Lincoln is great.”

“What are you doing?”

“I was sleeping.”

“Oh right! I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s really alright.”

Clarke is silent for a few moments before speaking again, whispering this time. “I love you.”

Lexa closes her eyes. “Clarke.”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be saying things like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because we broke up.”

Clarke’s voice wavers. “But it’s still true. I love you.”

Lexa bites the inside of her cheek. “Drink some water and go to sleep, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Goodnight, Clarke.”

“Wait! Lexa!”

“Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Lexa takes a breath. “Go to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

She hangs up and sinks into her bed, feeling a tiredness that sleep won’t be able to fix.

*****

Lexa sits at the kitchen counter, eating her stir-fry for one and nursing a glass of red wine. She’s looking through her phone and flicks back and forth between the few pictures she has left of Clarke.

She drains the rest of her wine and goes into her contacts, hovering over Clarke’s name. She pauses there for a half a minute, debating with herself, before clicking off her phone and pushing away from the counter with a frustrated sigh.

She reaches for the bottle of wine instead.

*****

Octavia walks towards Clarke and sees her hide a yawn in her arm while flicking through a patient’s chart.

“Raven and I thought we were going to have to file a missing persons report for you.”

Clarke looks up, surprised to see her there but smiles nonetheless. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Well, it seems like the only way I can see you is to come to the hospital so here I am.”

Clarke puts the chart away. “I’ve just been working a lot.”

“Yeah, no shit. This is the first time I’ve seen you in a month.”

“Really?” Clarke raises her eyebrows, trying to think of the last time she had seen Octavia or Raven.

“Even with your crazy doctor schedule, it’s never been that long.”

Clarke squeezes Octavia’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I promise we’ll all get together soon. I’ve just been busy.”

Octavia tilts her head, concern crossing her features. “You can talk to us, you know.”

Clarke looks away. “I know. But this is helping. Work is helping.”

Octavia simply nods. “Do you have time to grab a quick bite at least?”

“I think I can spare 20 minutes.”

*****

Clarke sits at a table at the café and sips her coffee, staring out across the floor of the airport. There’s a steady stream of travelers walking to and fro, some with purpose and others just idly strolling, although it’s still early in the morning so it’s not too crowded yet. She reaches for her phone and checks her emails, none of them requiring her immediate attention, and she double-checks her conference schedule before slipping her phone back into her bag.

As Clarke finishes the rest of her coffee and takes another glance around, her eyes land on familiar loose brown curls, swept over to one shoulder. Clarke feels her chest tighten but she doesn’t look away – can’t seem to look away – as she sees Lexa sitting across the airport, typing on her phone.

It isn’t until Lexa looks up and smiles at the person next to her that Clarke notices there’s a woman sitting there. The woman is all slim frame, tan skin, dark hair and even from this distance, Clarke can tell there’s an ease and fondness between them, something that goes beyond just friendship. She can see it in the way Lexa smiles at the woman – a smile that used to be directed at Clarke.

Clarke knows she doesn’t have the right to ache at the sight but she does.

She sees Lexa say something to the woman before squeezing her knee and heading in the direction of the bathroom. Clarke’s eyes follow Lexa as she walks, continuing to stare at the door even after Lexa has disappeared behind it.

Clarke taps her fingers on the armrests of her chair and hesitates for a few seconds before getting up and walking towards the bathroom. She pushes through the door and finds Lexa across the room, standing in front of the mirror. Lexa notices her at the same time in the reflection and she stops, surprise coming across her features that she quickly masks with an expression of indifference.

If it were anyone else, they would believe that Lexa was indifferent to seeing Clarke. Anyone else wouldn’t notice the minute movement of Lexa’s throat as she swallows almost imperceptibly.

But Clarke is far from just anyone.

Maybe it would be better if she was. She knows for sure that she wouldn’t be here right now if that were the case.

Clarke didn’t have a plan to begin with but she seems to have even less of one now that Lexa stood in front of her. She takes a few tentative steps towards Lexa, forgetting the fact that she should probably be the one to speak first.

Lexa turns and faces her. “Clarke.”

“Lexa.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Catching a flight.”

“Of course.”

Clarke steps forward. She just wants to be a little closer. “How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“That’s… good.”

Lexa stays silent, mask still in place.

“Where are you flying to?”

Lexa sighs, tired of the tiptoeing. “Clarke, what are you doing?”

Clarke looks away for a moment before meeting Lexa’s eyes again, all pretenses gone. “I just wanted to see you.”

Lexa softens faintly. “I’m here with someone.”

“I know.”

They hold eye contact, neither willing to break it or speak just yet.

“Clarke,” Lexa warns, although there’s no heat to it and it almost comes out as a whisper.

Clarke steps closer. “I just wanted to see you.”

Lexa knows she should move away but she doesn’t.

Another step. “Do you not want to see me?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

Clarke stops, leaving two feet of distance between them. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it again, words failing her.

Lexa squeezes her eyes shut, needing a moment, before looking at Clarke again. “What do you want me to say?”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“Why are you here?” Lexa asks, the strain clear in her voice.

“I miss you.”

Lexa looks away and takes a breath. “Clarke, please.”

“Say you don’t miss me and I’ll walk out of here.”

Lexa exhales, shaking her head slowly, unable to say the words she knows she should.

Clarke reaches out to cup Lexa’s cheek but she can’t bring herself to make contact, letting her hand simply hover, dropping it back to her side after a few seconds.

Lexa can’t stand it any longer and closes the distance between them, her lips meeting Clarke’s, hands going around her waist. Clarke twines her hands in Lexa’s hair and pushes forward, their bodies coming flush together.

There is no softness to the kiss – it’s all edges and hard lines and desperation, hands touching all over with abandon.

Lexa tastes like coffee and mint. Clarke doesn’t think she’s had anything better.

Lexa moves Clarke backwards without breaking the kiss, leading them to a bathroom stall. Once inside, Clarke pins Lexa against the door and flicks the lock in place. She kisses down Lexa’s neck before meeting her lips again, grinding her body against Lexa’s.

Lexa moans into Clarke’s mouth and bites down on Clarke’s bottom lip in response, eliciting a growl. Clarke’s movements speed up and she unbuttons and unzips Lexa’s jeans, pushing them down just enough along with her underwear. She brushes her hand over Lexa’s clit and she feels the shudder go through Lexa’s body. Clarke increases the pressure, sliding her fingers up and down in an even rhythm.

Lexa breaks the kiss, panting. She brings her lips to Clarke’s ear. “Fuck me.”

Clarke meets Lexa’s eyes briefly before capturing her lips again. She slides two fingers into Lexa and feels a hint of satisfaction when she hears a gasp. She takes Lexa’s order to heart and immediately works up a fast pace, fingers pumping in and out, not bothering to slowly ease into it.

Lexa is entirely leaning on Clarke, no longer able to keep herself up. Her head falls onto Clarke’s shoulder, lips pressing into her neck to silence the moans. Clarke adds a third finger and Lexa has to bite down on Clarke’s shoulder to keep a loud cry from escaping.

Lexa is close and Clarke knows it. Clarke curls her fingers inwards and circles her thumb over Lexa’s clit, pushing her over the edge. She feels Lexa’s entire body tense before relaxing all at once, hearing Lexa whisper her name into the crook of her neck.

After a few moments, Clarke pulls out of Lexa but makes no move to step away. It’s the only movement either of them make, still tangled in each other, both trying to catch their breath and trying to prolong a moment they know is coming to an end.

Lexa eventually leans back and Clarke does the same, taking a step back, neither meeting the other’s eyes. Lexa does up her jeans in silence and straightens her shirt, smoothing it down.

Eyes still downcast, Lexa leans in towards Clarke once more but she stops herself and pulls back. She abruptly turns around instead and leaves the stall. 

Clarke doesn’t look up as Lexa goes, nor does she move. She hears the footsteps, then the door, then nothing.

She lets her go.

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was inspired by The Light by The Album Leaf. The airport scene just randomly popped into my head one day as I was listening to the song and I felt compelled to build a one-shot around it. But I really don’t know why I chose to go with this because frankly, the Clexa fandom only deserves fluff after the shit show that’s happened since 307.
> 
> You can find me over at [clarkeggriffins.tumblr.com](http://clarkeggriffins.tumblr.com)


End file.
